just gotta wait and see, i guess.

just so certain family members who only help when it's convenient and/or beneficial for THEM know.. INTENTIONALLY NOT HELPING THEM IS NEGLECT which is also a form of ABUSE. "YOU GOT THIS!" which also confuses me why my sister stalks the hell outta me and reads my blog like it's the bible. if she expects me to just forget everything she's said/done to me JUST BECAUSE SHE'S MY SISTER (SHE ONLY HAS SIMILAR DNA BECAUSE OF MY MOM- WHICH IS ACTUALLY THE DNA I'M NOT PROUD OF).. she's got another thing coming and she's wasting her time.
some lady just called me about some job doing administrative work for target. i was trying to remember and it feels like someone called me about a job yesterday at about this same time. that's why remote jobs aren't exactly right.. for me anyway. i'd be more comfortable with a job if it were on site- so i don't feel like i'm not somewhere i need to be. whatever.. i won't know unless i try. if no one from our family (but joe) pays attention to me and really helps me- what the hell makes her think i'll be in the condition to help someone else (or even have the desire to)?! i have my own shit to worry about. ESPECIALLY since the last person who tried to help her was pushed on her ass by her.
i still am going to learningrx later and i hope these guys aren't like courage kenny and they just try to take advantage of my lack of KNOWLEDGABLE ADVOCACY. i hope they don't go assuming things for their own benefit just to make things easier for them or so they can make more money off me. i guess there's a better chance of that not happening since I was basically the one who organized this appointment since my family is too damn naive and uncaring to assist me to be actually capable and happy. "YOU GOT THIS!" (while the phone rings and eventually goes to voicemail which is NEVER returned)